At Wit's End - By Aaron Burley (22/08/2021)
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AT WIT'S END
Written by Aaron Burley
RECOVERING DATA…
DATA RECOVERED.
ARCHIVAL LABEL: “SIXTEEN BILLION YEAR DIARY”
EXTRACT TITLE: AT WIT'S END
[[[[[Recovered from a lock-box, eight miles out from the Sisterhood of Karn’s main encampment, written on a sheet of paper, taped to said box, were the words ``Open in three hundred years, please and thank you” - this request was ignored. The box was opened immediately upon discovery, within it lay a telepathically registered account - those that have low psychic capabilities may refer to the audio version which has been created by the Audileers Initiative. This file should only be used for research purposes of level ninety nine or higher, once you are done with this file, please promptly step into the memory wipe bay to have all undocumented information removed from your cerebral data banks. Please return the file to the nearest senior Archivist of level ninety nine or higher. Thank you very much.]]]]]
LOADING DATA...
The Zygon stared at me through my own eyes, which was very rude, we had spent the past twenty-two minutes across from each other looking rather different from one another, then all of a sudden the little git decided to just turn into its reddish-brown fleshy substance, which then transformed into a rather dashing copy of myself.
Cheater, I thought, of course, it would turn into me, no idea why I didn’t see it coming - it’s the one thing Zygons do, it’s all they ever do, copy other people. It stared at me through my own eyes, the hatred and contempt brimming up at the seams, I could see it was about to burst - that was a mistake on its part, transforming into me, all of that knowledge is like a gold mine, it couldn’t help itself, much like a child in a sweet’s shop it absorbed all of my memories, all of my knowledge on interplanetary tourist information and incredibly complicated sums. It’s all very clever stuff, but you have to know when to stop thinking about it, otherwise, you start getting very confused, I get confused all the time, I can’t help it - like now for example, instead of focusing on the task at hand (the very angry Zygon) I’m instead thinking about sweet shops and mathematics. I’ve got to get my head into the game, I’ve got to get it on straight, then put it in the game, because currently it’s nowhere near the game and the Zygon is bound to get the upper hand if I don’t pay attention. Alright, operation: pay attention, commencing in 3...2...1…
The Zygon made its move.
It was cunning. Devious. Nasty. Horrible. The game, which I had just put my head into - was almost certainly over.
“I call that Checkmate,” I said, no wait, hang on, it wasn’t me, it was the Zygon - sorry, I got the voices mixed up, always doing that. I talk without noticing sometimes, you can imagine how annoying it is when there’s two of me - which happens a lot now that I think about it, you’d think I’d be more prepared, being a time traveller and whatnot, but no, it never gets any easier to figure out. As I said, I get confused a lot.
“Best of three?” I said this one was definitely me, I could feel my lips flapping about when I said it. I gathered up all the pieces on the chessboard and reset them to their original position. The person across from me looked bemused about something, I could tell because of the way the skin around my - I mean its - nostrils scrunched up.
“I want to be on the white side this time.” I (but not me) said.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because you always get to go first and I find it unfair.”
“But you just won the last game, you can’t be white as well, now that’s unfair!”
“Then I request something else.” The me who wasn’t me curled up its lips, it made me a tad cross to see someone smiling my smile because it was my smile and I’d spent decades perfecting it and here we have a stupid red rubber monster, dressed like me, doing my smile with zero practice - unless you count the decades of practice that was in the Zygon’s head, in which case it did have all the practice, but just none of the effort that came with it - that has to be some form of theft, right? That’s literal identity theft, I wonder if I could sue? I’d have to look into it once I'd finished the next chess match, which I most definitely intended to win.
“Which is what exactly?” I had asked, probably while I was thinking about the smile, I tried my best to make it seem as confident as possible by smiling back, usually, if the enemy thinks you’re confident they’d give a few more seconds to think about their next step, just in case I have a plan up my sleeve, those extra seconds are very helpful in giving me time to come up with a said plan, so by the time they’ve spoken their next carefully chosen words, I can just smile again and the cycle repeats - it’s all very clever and it has never failed me yet. However that smile now belonged to both of us, which made me very nervous, so it was definitely working, which made it even more annoying. How the tables had turned.
“Information.” It growled that word, just like I usually do when I’m trying to appear dramatic, it helps to keep the opponent on edge, make them feel like they’re a toy being played with by a large immortal cat god with an infinite span of higher brain function, usually, that cat is me, but not this time, now I was the toy and this, this, this CREATURE was the cat god.
“Information on what exactly?” I asked out of sheer curiosity, I knew it’d probably not be information I’d be wanting to just hand out to anyone, definitely not to a Zygon of all things, however, if I could keep it talking then I wouldn’t have to worry about handing over anything. Very smart, eh?
“A certain subject I think you may know quite a bit about.” As it spoke, he reached out a hand, picked up a pawn and clicked it ahead two spaces - of course, a pawn can go ahead two spaces on its first turn - it’s annoying a Zygon knows how to play chess, the only reason it won the first game was because it cheated, it made a telepathic link when it transformed, probably downloaded all my knowledge on chess and is now using it against me, and I’m left in the dust with absolutely no idea on how to respond, it’s ridiculous. I hate Zygons so much, although once upon a time I probably married one of them, I say probably because it was a long day and I was very tired, wasn’t really paying attention - all I really remember was there was a lot of shouting and the next thing I know I’m watching one of them walk down the aisle, what a day that was, I still get nightmares about it.
“Which is what exactly? Please do try to be specific, I know a lot about a lot of things, it’s difficult to keep track.” I made my move too, the exact same one, a mirror image of the Zygon’s move; pawn, two steps forward. It wants to play copycat? I’ll give it a copycat.
“The Emperor.” The Zygon smiled, and so did I - but it was a sad smile, I’m not sure why, something deep in the very dark depths of the mind, it was under a shroud, I couldn’t picture it fully - still not sure why. It gave me a deep sadness, that name didn’t bode well for my subconscious, it was trying to hide information from me, was this a side effect of being mind-linked with the Zygon? Perhaps my own mind was trying to protect itself from the invader that lurked in the ocean of my thoughts.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t lie, I know when you’re lying, you can’t lie to me.” The Zygon was getting cocky, the line between arrogance and confidence was thin, and this creature was tight roping across it with tremendous skill and agility. What did this thing know that I didn’t? What was going on? I’ve never been caught this unaware in a very long time, what did this thing know that I did not? When did the Zygons get so clever? None of this was adding up. I put my fingers to my temple, long pale, slender digits doing circles along my forehead, a headache was emerging just beneath the skin, I was trying to work it out, but nothing’s working.
Was? Sorry, tenses are annoying, all of these thoughts rushing into my head all of sudden, it was beginning to hurt - whatever the Zygon was looking for, it was trying to push deep past my telepathic security. I had those - I have those, I still have them I’m sure of it.
“What are you doing?” I asked, trying not to make contact, the headache was evolving into a migraine, the chess match was no more, now this was a match of the minds.
“We’re mentally linked, I thought I would try reversing the polarity a little.” It grinned, it felt happy saying those words, my words, my inside jokes, it was stealing them. This was bad, very bad, God knows how I was going to get out of this one.
“Get out of my head!” I yelled in its face, the anger rushing up into my beating heart - hearts. The migraine was painful, I was feeling so much, so, so much. Every atom in my body was burning with intense agony. I'm so confused, I don’t know what’s going on, what’s happening to me?! HELP!
“I can help you.” The Zygon said.
“How?” I said back.
“Stop the connection.”
“What are you talking about?”
“That’s an issue with a mind like mine, it’s too big to share.”
“I’m confused.”
“Precisely, the brain of a Time Lord is tricky to replicate by itself, imagine trying to copy the Doctor, you end up losing yourself, drowning in information.”
“Explain.” I hissed, my teeth gritted, there was a voice inside my head, it was me, but not me, it was a voice I recognised more than my own and it was screaming at me.
“Tell me your name.”
I looked into my mind, dug into the dark and deep - searching for myself, my identity, and when I found it, I was even more confused than when I was a few minutes ago - and yet it all made sense, if that makes sense? I flapped my lips, no, not my lips.
“Zargin.” I said, with my voice, my proper voice, not the Doctor’s, Zargin’s voice.
“That’s good, now release the connection.”
I felt my mind slip like my thoughts were going up a vacuum cleaner - it made a popping noise, and suddenly, the migraine washed away in a wave of euphoria. I was no longer confused, I knew what was going on. I looked at the man across from me, he no longer looked through my eyes, nor did I do the reverse, I looked at the man across from me with my own two reddish-brown spheres, seeing for the first time in a while as myself. The Doctor sat across from me, he placed his chess piece into the final position, the game was ending again.
“You win,” I said.
“Tell me about the Emperor.” He said again, the kindness he provided to me was just a means to speak to me in a clearer state of mind, I knew that now. I know how he thinks, and I knew he had won - there was nowhere else I could go. I looked around me, knowing there was no escape, the Doctor’s wrath was a terrifying thing to face. He was so old now, he had seen so much, a billion wars, getting very close to his final regeneration, the glasses resting on his nose and the burning eyes behind them - it was a frightening sight to see. He sat across from me, his finger tapping on the table, impatiently waiting for me to respond.
I nodded and told him everything I knew.
Once the conversation was over, he pushed himself out from the table, collected up the chessboard and its pieces - stuffing them into the innermost pocket of his coat. He then walked away, and I sat in my chair, wondering what I would do now. The Zygon fleet that had sent me out here to kill the Doctor would never allow me to return, if I did they would most definitely kill me - I’d betrayed my planet, my species, my entire reason of being - I had stared into the consciousness of the Doctor and emerged changed, neither cruel nor cowardly, am I Zygon anymore? Zygons change shape and mind all the time, what is a Zygon but a blank slate for our species to copy off of others. Zygons infiltrate, they steal, they cheat, they lie and deceive - and now I don’t think I could ever do that ever again - I’m incapable. I wondered if the Doctor knew this if he knew that when I copied him, he would know what I would see if he knew what I would become. He was the cruellest creature of them all, he was a terror upon the universe, and I had no interest in stopping him. What did that make me? What am I now? Would it be better to die a Zygon or live a long life as whatever I had become now?
I sat there for a long time. A very long time. I let the universe pass over me as I thought, never moving, only thinking, maybe that was the only thing I was capable of now. Thought, and nothing more. If anyone ever hears this, know that the Doctor is coming for you, he will not stop, all of you will, this is a warning from someone who has seen what he has done, and what he intends to do to you. The Emperor is compromised, he knows where you are, he knows what you are, he understands you now because he is you, trust me, I know so much now. I know so much. Please, run while you still can - no one is safe when the Doctor is on the warpath. Good luck.
DATA END.
[[[[[To re-listen, please hit the re-listen button on your thought-pad. Thank you. Once finished, please return the file to the nearest senior Archivist of level ninety nine or higher. Thank you very much.]]]]]
The End.